The Joys Of Being A Second-Class Citizen

When some of the people I know talk about life overseas, they talk of how foreigners believe Singapore to be part of China. Such stereotypes may be incorrect and wrong but there are some advantages for the minority races. For example, if a Singaporean who happens to be an ethnic Indian were anywhere else in the world and claimed that he was a Singaporean, no one would believe him. He would actually have to work hard at convincing them that it was possible to be Singaporean whilst not being chinese.

The perks? No unnecessary problems with those who hate Singaporeans or the chinese. While the china chinese, hong kong chinese, taiwan chinese and Singapore chinese get all lumped together in the eyes of the foreigners and are in threat of getting walloped, the minorities get to travel without the risk of persecution at all. All this while we still have the basic (bare basic of course) rights as Singapore citizens.

Whilst we don't really have much choice inside Singapore and have to put up with the majority race's antics, outside of the city-state's borders, the tables are turned and being Singaporean and chinese tends to bring more trouble. So hey, I can get a house, job and other benefits as I am entitled to here and still get to sit in almost any public place inside a third world country without having to fear for my life. I think that's great.

Well, I may not be a jet-setting corporate executive but the knowledge of the fact of my guaranteed safety if and when I should travel is liberating and empowering in itself. So here's to all 'second-class' Singapore citizens.

Taxi Driver = Stupid

For years and years now, I have wondered why taxi drivers do the stupidest things. They drive too slow when looking for passengers and they drive too fast when they do get a passenger. They claim that they work very hard and yet skive often (sleep inside their taxis for example). They lament that they are often cheated by unscrupulous passengers yet take unnecesarily long routes in order to earn a few cents extra. When they are caught in the wrong (accidents and traffic offences) they claim that it was an honest mistake and appeal to the understanding of others, yet when they are in the right (especially during an accident), they can be the most unreasonable of all motorists.

They drive without due consideration for other motorists and are the cause of most accidents. It is no secret that almost every driver is weary of each and every taxi that is near him. Taxi drivers are amazingly nonchalant when they are causing inconvenience to others and are surprisingly impatient when they are on the receiving end of such inconvenience.

Well, I have come to the following conclusion: They are stupid. But not in an acting-stupid sort of way. They are naturally stupid, innately stupid. That's why they become taxi drivers. This is the only explanation that can account for their irrational behaviour - one type of character when they are at fault and an opposite character when they are in the right.

So, theses days, I just feel sorry for all these helplessly-stupid morons who drive taxis for a living. They just can't help being lazy when they ought to be working and complaining the rest of the time. They can't avoid looking for crooked ways to squeeze a few more cents out of the passenger whilst dishing out appalling service.

I think it is pre-ordained which of the population become taxi-drivers. Some get there faster, whilst others drudge through other careers before reaching their 'destiny'. In any case, let's be more understanding for these retarded fools. Drop a few cents on the bonnet of a taxi whose driver is sleeping in his taxi instead of trying to get passengers - because that's what he's there for, he's resting whilst waiting for alms. If someone really needed to sleep, he'd go home to bed right? Why else would he do that when driving a taxi is a flexible-work vocation.

Finally a disclaimer: Even though, in my opinion, 99.99% of taxi-drivers are such morons, I have to concede that a few (extremely few) unfortunate souls are trapped in this vocation due to various extenuating circumstances. My comments are based on this 99.99% and not on this absolute minority of sensible people who just happen to be taxi drivers.